Have you ever been dying while your family watches laughing?? I have. We were camping in Hot Springs, Arkansas. We’re busy setting up camp when I have a good idea. So like any good wife I go to share said idea with the hubby.
“babe, I was think.....” mid word a bug flew into my mouth. I say it was a bug. I am assuming It was a bug. It could have been a small bird. It adhered to the back of my throat. I start to cough. And swallow. And gag. And cough. I choke out that I swallowed a bug. Problem was I didn’t swallow it. It was stuck in a place that made me gag uncontrollably. I hear my loving husband “mom swallowed a bug” his voice dripping with sarcasm and disbelief. The kids seem to think this is the funniest news they have ever heard. So there I am, hand on knees, crying, gagging, coughing, swallowing, gagging. And my family, the man who promised to love and cherish me, the kids who are only here because of me. The one I labored for 24 hours with. The ones I have cared for and loved and protected since they were tiny. Those people are pointing and laughing.
Finally the vomiting starts. My body is determined to rid my epiglottis of the stuck but still alive and struggling bug. Mid projectile vomiting my hubby says “oh she was serious” like all the gagging and coughing had been some huge, mid June, April fools joke. When I think I am done puking I look up to see my darling husband staring wide eyed and 4 beautiful children (who are about to be up for adoption) with mouths hanging open. The brave one speaks “I thought you were just kidding”. Husband leaps into action. He jogs over to hug me before I file for divorce. Tells me how shocked he was to find I was telling the truth. (As if I commonly lie about inhaling bugs and almost dying). He goes on to laugh about how hysterical the whole thing was. (it was not that funny).
To this day my whole family loves to laugh about the time mom ate a bug in Arkansas.
*only mom was injured in the creating and retelling of this story. The kids were not adopted into new families and the husband was not divorced. But it was close.
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