This post is just TMI. if you don’t like TMI just scroll on.
Some of you may have heard this before as I have shared this crazy story on FB. But here it is for the rest of you.
One day, actually august 12,2019 to be exact I was struck with idea that since I hate shaving I should just go get a bikini wax. Right? Just like one rip and we’re done. (Shows you how much I know). So I book it and show up before I have a chance to really chicken out. (Oh I also consulted a “friend” who told me it wouldn’t be that bad). So I get, by luck of the draw, a lady named Dee Dee. She was so sweet and talked all the way through it just helping me feel at ease and acting like being naked from waist down with your feel together and knees apart was the most normal thing in the world. So we get started. The wax goes on so smooth and warm. It actually feels really good. And I’m pretty relaxed. But also know there is only one way that’s coming off there. So she warns me to take a deep breath. I’m not sure why. That didn’t do much for me. She ripped and my eyes watered.
WHAT. THE......
My vision went black for a second. I think I may have gotten a little dizzy. My ears rung like my head was inside the liberty bell. At the time I would have rated that a 10. But 42 seconds later when we were ripping more sensitive areas I learned that was actually a 10. The first one was maybe a 7. Let me just tell you it is not one simple rip. Its like 10.
Somehow I did manage to survive that experience.
So on my way out I pay for this pain and suffering. And they try to sell me this scrub and gel and stuff. And I’m hearing in my head “that’s toxic DONT buy it. You have oils for this. You can’t afford all this.” Then I hear myself say “I’ll just take the cooling, smoothing gel” WHAT AM I EVEN SAYING???? I purchased it and left.
Finally it was over and I was headed home. I was sexy y’all. I mean I was waxed from butt crack to belly button.
Except no. It wasn’t sexy. (And even if had been I would have killed anyone who thought to touch it!) it was RED. It looked like the razor burn had bet double or nothing. It also was starting to look like acne or maybe chicken pox. But that’s ok. It’s just mad. And rightfully so. It will be fine. HA!! It got worse for 3 days. And the cooling cream did not cool anything. This lead to me sitting in a cool bath in near tears.
Fast forward to my second wax. I went back. Can you believe it?? Me either!! But I did. This time I got in the car and opened my pants. (Lord I hope no one one saw this) and sprayed my nether region with lavaderm. I went straight home and layered my girl parts in copaiba and lavender.
Y’all I swear it. Hand on the Bible, scouts honor, on a loved ones grave. in 2 hours I felt normal. Totally normal. I looked normal. No bumps, no rash, no redness. You can ask my husband. I know no one wants to see all that but it is so drastically different I wish I had pics. I did not need to sit in a bath and cry. There was no razor burn or chicken pox or burns. Normal smooth skin.
So if you decide to get a wax please find a Dee Dee cause she’s so sweet. Please use your oils!!!! And please don’t let a “friend” tell you it’s not that bad.
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