You don't just drive your family nearly 7000 miles on vacation and have it all go right. At least that's not how it works in this family. In this family the next mishap is never more than the next 10 miles or 10 minutes away.
On this particular day we had decided to take the kids to a bear sanctuary. We were in the Yellowstone area and had been hoping to see more bears. This seemed like the best way to let the kids see some bears up close. So we head on over and buy tickets. The place is set up as a drive-through. Once you start you can't stop. There is no place to turn around. It's one lane that travels one direction towards the only exit. (Are you getting the feeling we were looking for another way out?)
So we start the tour. The 16 year old making minimum wage meets us at the gate and gives us the best advice we have maybe ever gotten “Don’t get out of the car”. I mean…. Thanks kid. He opens the gate and off we go. First we see Bison, followed by elk, even an albino bull elk. Then a grizzly bear who has to live alone because his pleasant demeanor doesn’t allow for a roommate. Also he refused to come out and show his face. We only got to see a few square inches of his backside. I guess he isn’t enjoying his life as a show girl?
Onward to the black bears. A little bit smaller than the all powerful grizzly but not all the way to little. I mean I don’t want to square off with one. And there they were! The kids were crawling over each other to see the bears. Their little faces smooshed against the window. They were active and roaming about. It was great. The kids were squealing in the backseat. We follow the path around the curve and there the bears are… doing it. There is at least 4 or 5 bear couples who are actively trying to become bear parents. As there is no way out but to continue, we carry on. Doug is doing a miserable job at controlling the look on his face. I take a pic and send it to my mother with a text that says something to the effect of “Guess what my kids are learning about today?” Nathan (who had no idea what was happening) pointed at the bear couples and shouted “Look they’re wrestling!! The one on top is winning”
Doug could not withstand the temptation to reply so of course he had to chime in. “Oh man, you have no idea buddy. He sure is!”
I shoot Doug a dirty look informing him I am not impressed with his joke. He doesn’t care. This tour cannot end fast enough. I kept thinking this would be over in a minute but no. Bear sex last much longer that the discovery channel would have you believe. Or these bears were just exhibitionist or something.
We did finally escape our bears gone wild show. And of course the kids wanted to go again. That was met with a quick “NO”. Our vacation continued on and we thought the kids were none the wiser, until…
A couple years later while Mya was watching an animal show on Netflix it came to part where the show talks about mating season and then, as if we needed to actually see it, they showing you a mating couple. This triggers Mya’s memory of other animals she has seen do this. By other animals I mean bears. She starts screaming. I come running. She points at the TV “They are having SEX!” I’m confused. This is why we are screaming?
“Just fast fwd Mya. They are animals. They make babies. That’s how they don’t go extinct. It’s not a big deal” Sheesh!
Mya isn’t worried about the TV though. (Also I have to revisit what I let them watch) “You took us to see bears have sex.” Bold accusation. That is NOT, I repeat NOT what happened. We had no idea the bears were feeling frisky.
I try to explain that the animals don’t inform the keepers of the afternoon plans. We had no idea that was occurring. She runs to tell Avery. Me: face to palm. You take your kids to see the bears one time and 2 years later the consequence are still real. One good thing though, to this day Nathan has no idea.
Komentarze